I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
