so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
