we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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