Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize