I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
