If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize