im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
