I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
