he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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