going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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