I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
