i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
