I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
