But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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