people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
