it was like his penis was on wheels.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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