The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So many bounce houses so little time
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
