So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
