That's intense
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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