Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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