Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
