grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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