he wants to bone in the snuggie
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
