Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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