dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
