it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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