There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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