If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
