Can i not drive my cunt home
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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