Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
