I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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