id be glad to
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Let's get the cat blown out
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
