So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
