tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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