Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize