I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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