Pappa wants mamma naked
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
