Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
