i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
