Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize