i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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