My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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