Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
