Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
