We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
