So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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