based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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