Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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