Kiss
Puke
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
