When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
