I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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