NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
