I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
