Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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