I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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