just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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