dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
