Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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