party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize