If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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