Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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